Janelle Brown Is Building a Life That Finally Belongs To Her

From plural marriage and public heartbreak to grief, independence, and a new life on her own terms

By Conner Tighe

For years, millions of viewers knew Janelle Brown through Sister Wives. Her marriage, family, parenting, and relationships unfolded on television while audiences debated nearly every decision the Brown family made. But underneath the reality TV story was a woman who had spent decades building a life around a large family and an unconventional marriage.

Janelle is now posing a completely different question: what occurs when the life that you have spent years constructing no longer matches the person you are?

When speaking to Julie Lokun on the Get Obsessed podcast, Janelle reflects on the 25 years she has spent in plural marriage, the experience of raising children in the public eye, and how her relationship with Kody Brown gradually came to an end. Above all, she discusses what happened afterward. Her narrative has moved on from just leaving a marriage to focusing on determining who she wants to be in the years to come.

Learning to Stop Comparing Yourself

Living in a plural marriage meant one had to face jealousy and comparison in ways most relationships never do. Janelle eventually realized that continually comparing herself to another woman only diverted her attention from recognizing her own value.

“I’m an orange. She’s an apple,” Janelle explains.

Since the comparison was so simple, it sends a stronger message: it is not necessary for someone else to be less attractive, successful, or worthy for you to acknowledge your own value. The lessons from Janelle's experience led her to focus on herself rather than comparing herself to someone else's personality, appearance, or relationship.

That emphasis on recognizing your own worth echoes another Get Obsessed conversation about how self-worth influences the choices we make.

The lesson now extends to the work she does with women as they begin their second chapters.

Grief Changed the Conversation

One of the most painful experiences of her life was the death of her son, Garrison. Because of his loss, the dynamics of her family have been altered, and the importance they attach to talking openly about mental health has increased; instead of seeing such conversations as uncomfortable or something to keep hidden, Janelle thinks that families should allow room for them.

Her experience provides an additional dimension to the concept of starting anew. The process of reinvention doesn't involve pretending that the painful aspects of the past didn't occur. On some occasions, moving forward means carrying your grief with you even as you still decide that life can include purpose, relationships, and moments of joy.

That idea is also explored in the Get Obsessed conversation with Simone Gisondi about why healing is an ongoing process rather than a finish line.

Women Need the Power to Choose

Janelle's views on plural marriage have also changed. The most interesting aspect of the discussion is her point about the financial vulnerability women can experience in relationships where they lack legal protections.

“I think you just make it legal,” she says, discussing how greater legal recognition could provide women with more financial protection.

Her main argument concerns choice. Women gain more control over the decision of whether to stay in or leave a relationship because of education, financial knowledge and an understanding of their legal rights. Independence, on the other hand, becomes considerably more difficult when a person lacks the means or the necessary information to make an alternative choice.

Those conversations about money, trust and family relationships also appear in Get Obsessed's discussion with Emily Bouchard about the financial conversations families cannot afford to avoid.

Starting Again Doesn’t Have to Look Dramatic

Janelle's latest chapter seems rather down-to-earth nowadays since she has moved to North Carolina and is now building a farm with her daughter Maddie and her son-in-law Caleb. At the same time, she has expanded her coaching to help women navigate change and rediscover what they want from life.

The farm, above all else, appears to stand for something more than a business enterprise; it is a concrete aspect of the kind of life Janelle has chosen for herself.

“This is the best thing ever,” she says of spending mornings weeding the beds.

Even after decades of being watched on television, with all the complicated relationships within the family, under constant public examination, going through a divorce and suffering unimaginable sorrow, happiness can seem as simple as pulling weeds from the ground.

Janelle's story is not convincing merely on the grounds that she had given up plural marriage; what makes it compelling is that she had allowed herself to imagine that a completely different life might still have been possible.

It can be frightening to start a new life after the familiar has shaped you for decades. A recent Get Obsessed conversation with Dr. Sherrie Campbell similarly explores reclaiming yourself, rebuilding self-worth, and creating peace after difficult family relationships.

But Janelle Brown's next chapter is a point worth becoming obsessed with: the conclusion of one phase of your life doesn't mean your story is over.

That is when you get the chance to determine how the next section is written.

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Conner Tighe is a writer, editor, and contributor to Get Obsessed. Through candid storytelling, he hopes to help others feel less alone in the difficult experiences that often remain unspoken. Outside of writing, Conner enjoys music, houseplants, books, and spending time with his Chihuahua, Chewy.