Parental Alienation: Loving Your Kids More Than Hating Your Ex

As parents, we all want what’s best for our children. But when relationships end, emotions can run high, and sometimes anger toward an ex-partner takes center stage. On a recent episode of the Get Obsessed Podcast, I sat down with my co-host Mika Altidor and special guest Kindra Riber, a passionate advocate for parental alienation awareness.

Kindra opened my eyes to a truth that hit me right in the heart: too often, children become pawns in the battles between parents.

“When one parent chooses to feed their resentment to the child, it doesn’t punish the ex—it punishes the child. Children should never carry the weight of adult conflicts,” Kindra Riber shared.

What Is Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation happens when one parent deliberately (or sometimes unknowingly) turns a child against the other parent. This may look like speaking negatively about the other parent, limiting access, or planting seeds of fear and mistrust. Over time, this can sever the bond between child and parent—leaving scars that can last a lifetime.

“The most important thing a child needs after divorce is the security of knowing they are loved and safe with both parents. Alienation robs them of that,” said Riber.

Choosing Love Over Hate

I’ll be honest—hearing Kindra speak made me reflect on my own choices as a parent. When life gets messy, it can feel easier to lash out at an ex or to let bitterness take the driver’s seat. But at what cost?

Kindra reminded us that children are incredibly perceptive. They know when they’re being asked to pick sides. They know when they’re being used as weapons. And they know, deep down, that the conflict isn’t theirs to carry.

“If you want to protect your child, you must love them more than you hate your ex. Every time you feel that urge to bad-mouth or manipulate, ask yourself—am I serving my child’s heart, or my ego?”

Building a Healthier Future

So how do we choose love when hurt is so raw? Kindra gave us practical advice:

• Keep your child out of adult battles. Don’t overshare, don’t vent, and don’t make them a messenger.

• Encourage a positive relationship with both parents. Children thrive when they don’t feel torn in two.

• Seek help if you feel consumed by anger. Therapy, coaching, or support groups can break the cycle.

• Focus on the long game. Children will remember how you handled the divorce more than they’ll remember the divorce itself.

OBSESSED TAKEAWAYS-

Walking away from my conversation with Kindra, one phrase continues to echo in my heart: Love your kids more than you hate your ex.

At the end of the day, parental alienation isn’t about winning custody battles or proving a point—it’s about protecting the innocent. It’s about giving your children the freedom to love both of their parents fully, without fear or guilt.

As parents, we owe them nothing less.